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Grace: A Memoir (2012) by Grace Coddington

Like most people, I didn’t know of Coddington’s existence until I saw the documentary, The September Issue.  I was left loving her in the film for her spunk, plus her creativity seemed to just ooze out of the screen.

Thankfully, she published a memoir not to long after the filming and it was filled with the same whimsy and joy that can be seen onscreen.  The book itself is one that I would recommend reading in print as opposed to eBook.  The cover is bright orange and is not a usual book shape (more of a square), and it’s filled with great drawings by Grace herself.   And the icing on the cake, the contents leave you wishing that one day your life will have been as full, insightful and as successful both in career and friendships as hers.

Grace

Odd and the Frost Giants (2009) by Neil Gaiman

As per the usual recommendation, when possible, listen to Neil Gaiman’s books as opposed to reading them.  More often than not, Gaiman narrates them himself and adds the perfect amount of pause and inflection in every story.  Much like Chelsea Handler’s self-read autobiographies, Gaiman, having been the writer, truly expresses his wishes for how the stories should be communicated to the audience.

This was just a cute story to listen to while I was baking one afternoon, but it’s worth mentioning for the aforementioned reasons.  If you’ve never read Gaiman, I’d  recommend starting with his adult novel, American Gods.

OddandtheFrostGiants

Rest in Pieces: the Curious Fates of Famous Corpses (2013) by Bess Lovejoy

The title pretty much sums it up.  Leaders, actors, great thinkers, et al, in death all share unusual treatment to their deceased corpses, including but certainly not limited to having their penises cut off and preserved for posterity, floating in life-size fish tanks like wax figures for public viewing, and being shot out of a cannon into the desert.

Of all the figures described, only two women’s corpses are described as meeting macabre after-life endings.  Does this world consider the woman’s body too sacred in comparison to a man’s to desecrate?  Is the documentation missing from history?  Do women not deserve to be fought over and stolen from their graves?  I demand after-life grave robbing equality now!

But I digress…Lovejoy’s book is fun to read and is even safe for the faint of heart.  Her writing style is accessible and interesting, even if you aren’t aware of the life of said corpse.  Plus, there’s a great bibliography at the end for further reading, if that sort of thing does it for you.

RestinPieces

The Faithful Executioner: Life and Death, Honor and Shame in the Turbulent Sixteenth Century (2013) by Joel F. Harrington

Much like Roseanne Montillo’s book, Lady and Her Monsters highlighting the cultural events surrounding the writing of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Harrington’s book paints a larger picture of the world surrounding the life of one special person in our collective history—the life and career of a death dealer, a.k.a the executioner.

The inspiration for the text is the actual diary of German executioner Frantz Schmidt (1555 – 1634) and Harrington’s book offers the reader a glimpse into 16th century Europe and all that your run of the mill executioner had to deal with in his daily life.  If you’ve already begun to glaze over with boredom, fear not!  Harrington offers up enough gruesome facts to keep you interested throughout most of the book, such as the various torture devices, what is done with the body postmortem and the shockingly high mortality rate for mothers and their babies.  Though sometimes I found myself skipping passages that were more detail/date focused, I appreciate that the text would appeal to the more serious history buff.

FaithfulExecutioner

Drinking and Tweeting (And Other Brandi Blunders) (2013) by Brandi Glanville

You gotta love a gal who has no filter, even when she’s sober and today, the girl that I’m speaking of is “Real Housewife of Beverly Hills,” Brandi Glanville.  You wanted the dirt about her divorce from cheater b-list actor Eddie Cibrian and his home-wrecking washed up country singer new wife, Leann Rimes, well you got it.

Glanville’s book is written as if you are sitting down having a heart-to-heart over cocktails and ruminating over past heartache.  It’s a fun, quick read that is a great pause from a more heavy book, or even crazy co-workers.  Glanville’s humor and wit, though related through the narrative of a broken marriage, makes you laugh and sympathize amidst the pain that any reader can relate to.

DrinkingandTweeting

My Year of Water

It all started with a bucket…100_2175

Since I was a young gal, I had always lived in homes where it took at least a full minute for the water to warm sufficiently to wash my face or hands.  And since I was little, I always felt ill at ease knowing that the water, which was in such need as evidenced by all of those third world country commercials especially rampant in the 80s and 90s, was going literally down the drain.  So, now that I’m a big girl, I figured I can do what I want and left a glass next to the bathroom sink and a bucket in the bathtub.  Whenever I turned 100_2182on the water, I poured the cold water, glass by glass, into the bucket in the bathtub until the desired warmth. Gradually, this evolved to pouring the glasses of water spoiled by my cats’ spit (because GOD FORBID they actually drink out of their own bowl), the water in the shower, and the water left over after blanching vegetables and cooking pasta.

The aforementioned experiment in good will began towards the end of 2011, and left me in100_2180 wonder of how much water I was actually saving (what was done with the water in the bucket to follow shortly).  Given the perfect timing, I set out on a year-long quest to pour, document, conserve and, lastly, calculate (resulting in some arguments with my spouse and the cats along the way).  My study 100_2186begins on the first of the year in 2012, through New Year’s Eve. My bucket holds six liters, and I marked how many liters per day via a calendar hung on the wall in the bathroom.  Some days yielded only one liter, and other days, fifteen liters.  Different months yielded differing results, i.e. the stay-cation when showers were a rare occurrence for the week, hence no water from the shower. Or, trips back from the farmers’ market when lots of greens were blanched, leaving pots and pots of green liquid that further fed my indoor and container plants on the porch.

The results below reflect that of a household containing two adults and two full-grown cats.

Here are my 2012 results:

612 liters of water saved, or

306 2 liter bottles, or

Pool

Just over 159 gallons

If only 9 people did this in one year, we could fill up a pool this size ————————————>

The most water gathered was from heating up the water before the shower, and after the shower.  (You know, after you’re down showering, when you turn off the water, that little button-like device that turns the shower water into the faucet water pops down and a lot of extra water comes out at the end after it’s off.)  Just before I knew I was going to turn the water off, I’d stick the bucket under and almost a full liter would come out each time.

You may be wondering, what does one do with all of that water throughout the year, especially during the colder months?100_2178 It was used in a number of ways.  As previously mentioned, watering my indoor plants, plants on the porches during the warmer months, and the Christmas tree during December, but mostly, it was used to flush the toilet, which is a little wonderful secret that remains elusive to many people.  If your toilet is full of (liquid) waste, you can pour the bucket of water down and it will not only flush, but refill some of the way.  It’s really quite 100_2176amazing if you’ve never tried it before.  Our household is also a “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” one, so the times that the toilet is actually flushed each day is minimal.

At this point, I’d like to think that you’re wowed and awed by the findings.  But, I’d like to drive the point home a little more, if I may.  Let’s face it, in the U.S., we live in a patriarchal, capitalist society, based on consumption, aggression and power.  Meaning, we’ve aggressively tried to exercise our power over the environment by consuming mass amounts of our natural resources, and in turn dumping our excess into landfills and the air.  Therefore, saving water, composting, recycling, et al may seem counterintuitive considering the constant intake of advertising telling us to consume, consume, consume.  In short, wasting water seems normal to us because it’s completely acceptable, if not encouraged in other, more subtle queues in our daily lives.

Now that it’s 2013, the bucket has become a permanent fixture in the bathtub. Some have responded to my bucket with resistance, including disgusted facial expressions and my personal favorite, “My husband would never let me do that” (I’ll keep my response to that one to myself).  The biggest hurdle is accepting responsibility and making that commitment.  Saying that you’re going to “go green” is great, but our planet doesn’t really care about your empty promises.  I am by no means “there” yet–I don’t ride my bike everywhere, I occasionally forget my coffee mug at the coffee shop, and I still put a lot of crap into the landfill.  But, day by day, the attempt is made to do what’s right and accept accountability for how I treat the earth.  It suffices to say that my six liter pink-handled bucket is now a part of our family; hopefully it will become a part of yours.

Below: my bucket today, catching water from a leaky faucet.

mail

I fell in love with poet and author Mark Doty when I read his memoir “Heaven’s Coast,” about the relationship and illness of then mark-dotypartner Wally, who succumbed to AIDS related complications.  Through his memoir and poetry, Doty offers a universal view on romantic relationships that transcends sex, gender, economic status, race and sexual orientation.  His observations express emotions inherit to struggle and love, and he has the amazing ability to put feelings of the gut into words, which reach out from the pages into us as readers.

I chose Doty in honor of not only National Poetry Month, but also to recognize that gay rights are human rights and in hope of a day where there will be a level playing field for all.

Brilliance by Mark Doty

Maggie’s taking care of a man
who’s dying; he’s attended to everything,
said goodbye to his parents,

paid off his credit card.
She says Why don’t you just
run it up to the limit?

but he wants everything
squared away, no balance owed,
though he misses the pets

he’s already found a home for
-he can’t be around dogs or cats,
too much risk. He says,

I can’t have anything.
She says, A bowl of goldfish?
He says he doesn’t want to start

with anything and then describes
the kind he’d maybe like,
how their tails would fan

to a gold flaring. They talk
about hot jewel tones,
gold lacquer, say maybe

they’ll go pick some out
though he can’t go much of anywhere and then
abruptly he says I can’t love

anything I can’t finish.
He says it like he’s had enough
of the whole scintillant world,

though what he means is
he’ll never be satisfied and therefore
has established this discipline,

a kind of sever rehearsal.
That’s where they leave it,
him looking out the window,

her knitting as she does because
she needs to do something.
Later he leaves a message:

Yes to the bowl of goldfish.
Meaning: let me go, if I have to,
in brilliance. In a story I read,

a Zen master who’d perfeted
his detachment from the things of the world
remembered, at the moment of dying,

a deer he used to feed in the park
and wondered who might care for it,
and at that instant was reborn

in the stunned flesh of a fawn.
So, Maggie’s friend-
is he going out

into the last loved object
of his attention?
Fanning the veined translucence

of an opulent tail,
undulant in some uncapturable curve,
is he bronze chrysanthemums,

copper leaf, hurried darting,
doubloons, icon-colored fins
troubling the water?

Life by Keith Richards (2010)

Richards tells his life story in stream of consciousness style while regretting nothing and spilling just the right amount of dirt on his band mates and other celebs.  Given everything (the drugs, the women, the road) his journey is summed up by a man who possesses a surprising level of introspection.

Keith Richards book cover Life.08-10

Girl Singer by Rosemary Clooney (2001)

Girl Singer is the epitome of bittersweet.  It constantly wavers between cliffs and valleys; the highs of singing, freedom and love and the lows of drugs, alcohol and the bondage of a troubled marriage.  Besides offering the reader a first class ticket into her career and love affairs, Clooney presents us with a cultural artifact into 1950s and 60s music and culture.  A great juxtaposition to Richards’ Life, Clooney describes the penultimate period where big bands and girl singers ruled and Rock and Roll was just on the horizon.

Rosemary+Clooney

Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir by Cyndi Lauper and Jaycee Dunn (2012)

Often times, reminisces of Cyndi Lauper conjure 1980s imagery of neon colors, spiky hair and of course, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”  Because of this, her memoirs couldn’t have waited any longer to show the world just who this woman is, and especially what she has done.

We all know that Lauper is a musician and artist, but when we hear that she is an activist, what that means is that she was one of the first advocates for gay rights, women’s equality, and a true trailblazer for HIV/AIDS awareness, especially at a time when it was shrouded by the highest amount of fear and taboo.  Lauper’s memoir is an essential reading for anyone who needs a boost of self-confidence and a reminder to keep their chin up when they’re wading through the muck of life.

CyndiLauper

Jacob’s Folly by Rebecca Miller (2013)

A Hasidic Jew, born in the 1700s, is reincarnated as a fly in current day.  The story see-saws from his current day observations and his life in 18th century Paris.  Miller, who has in the past done a magnificent job of writing and directing from a varied female perspective, takes a stab this time at writing from the male perspective.  Her observations from the masculine gender’s point of view are entertaining, tawdry, and scintillating, thereby ever-changing your feelings towards the narrator.

RebeccaMiller

The Lady and Her Monsters: A Tale of Dissections, Real-life Dr. Frankenstein and the Creation of Mary Shelley’s Masterpiece by Roseanne Montillo (2013)

Author Roseanne Montillo describes the social thought and study leading up to the creation of Mary Shelley’s infamous story, Frankenstein.  To do this, Montillo details the very real history of grave digging for medical experimentation and the use of electricity as a possible re-animator of human life, both of which permeated both scholarly and pub conversations for hundreds of years.  She interweaves this history with Shelley’s feminist roots, being the daughter of women’s rights advocate Mary Wollstonecraft, and the subsequent publishing of the novel under an anonymous name due to the bias against female authors.

The conglomeration of the history of the human body, reanimation, electricity, and feminism are in itself a Frankenstein, being hobbled together to create the text that resulted in Frankenstein the story.

Montillo

[Listed in order by first to last book read]

Amélie
French: Le fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain
dir. Jean-Pierre Jeunet (2001)

Arguably the most mainstream of the five films, Amélie is the epitome of quirky and whimsical.  The main character, Amélie, decides to dedicate herself to helping others find a glimpse of happiness, if only for a brief moment.  Amélie, the movie and the character, is reminiscent of an introvert’s Sex and the City; she lives alone in an extremely attractive apartment on a waitress’ salary in a small diner and galavants around an ideal France whilst spending most of her time playing reindeer games with her neighbors and a potential love interest.  It’s chock-full of bright colors, quick camera movements, and mischievous little surprises at every corner.

If you’ve never seen a foreign film or even a French film, I’d recommend this as a reliable primer.

Amelie

Heartbeats
French: Les amours imaginaires
dir. Xavier Dolan (2010)

It’s astounding that someone so young, at the tender age of 21, could have written, directed and starred in a movie so entertaining, beautiful and complete.  Heartbeats introduces us to two friends, Marie and Francis, and the introduction of  the blonde, Greek God lookalike, Nicolas.  The crux of the story is that Marie and Francis are friends, both are attracted to Nicolas, and it is ambiguous as to which one he is attracted to.  The ambiguity of his attraction, if at all, is relayed through subtle queues that just seem to linger a little longer than they should, i.e. a gaze, a kiss, a hug.  Not to mention sleeping in the same bed as both friends and inviting them away (and together) on romantic weekends.

Though this may seem like the typical Hollywood type of love triangle, it has the benefit of not being produced in Hollywood and therefore isn’t expected to follow the prescribed romantic comedy script that pervades American cinema.  The trifecta of the characters mirrors that of the film: wonderful cinematography, a solid story, and a perfect ending.

Heartbeats

17 Girls
French: 17 filles
dir. Delphine Coulin & Muriel Coulin (2011)

Based on the real life events that took place in Gloucester, Massachusetts in 2008, directors Delphine and Muriel Coulin tell the story of 17 high school girls who all became pregnant during one year.  Though not a documentary, the directors hold true to interviews and news stories of the time.  The film begins with a group of tight knit high schools girls where the leader (she sits at the head of the table, she accepts or rejects others, has sex first, et al) becomes pregnant.  All we know about the male partner is that he is out of the picture, and a quiet slight is alluded to.  After she decides to carry to term, one by one, her friends and girls outside of their posse begin seeking out random guys to impregnate them.  The result is an ever-growing circle of pregnancy, social acceptance, comfort and inclusiveness.  The teenage angst genre has rarely been expressed so subtly.

This is definitely an onion of a film.  At the end, I was left with a faint aura of a Sofia Coppola film circa the Virgin Suicides.

17Girls

Paris-Manhattan
French: Paryz-Manhattan
dir. Sophie Lellouche (2012)

From the age of 15, Alice has not only been in love with the films of Woody Allen, but has also been corresponding with the poster of him in her bedroom.  Mostly taking place in her 30s, she is still being fed words of wisdom from God-like Allen who answers her questions about love, life and struggle through quotes from his films.  As the main character Alice grows into a woman, one can’t help but be drawn to her independence and confidence (yes, I do want to be best friends with her).  Whether that is a result of Allen’s guidance or not is for the viewer to decide.

Of course, the Woody Allen fan would adore this film, but its appeal spans that of his fan base.  The script is solid, the characters are well-developed and you end up caring for them at the finish line.

ParisManhattan

Queen of Hearts
French: La reine des pommes
dir. Valérie Donzelli (2009)

Queen of Hearts is about a woman who gets dumped by her boyfriend, and spends the subsequent weeks unable to financially support herself and basically makes horrible decisions in judgement by sleeping with unavailable men.  The character is basically an emotional mess and her actions left me screaming at the screen at how incredibly awful she was.  Definitely not a queen of hearts.

As the film came to a close, I was truly turned off.  So why spend an hour and a half of your time watching?  It’s because if you’ve ever gone through a break up, been single, or young, or made a bad decision, then this film is extremely uncomfortable to watch because it is a mirror into your own life.  The realism of the sex, nudity, lapses in good judgement and heartache are all so tangible that they require a level of introspection on the viewers’ part that may be off-putting, but it’s worth the experience.

QueenofHearts

Exploring Feminisms is 3 years old today!

Thanks to everyone who has read and contributed to the conversation!

3YearExploringFeminisms

Exploring Feminisms’ Top Ten in 2012

10.  Eva Braun: Life with Hitler by Heike B. Görtemaker

EvaBraun

This book epitomizes the phrase, “there’s a lid for every pot.”  Little is known about Eva Braun, the woman who was romantically linked and died with Hitler, due to the fact that towards the end he ordered all existing documents to be destroyed, even ones kept by Braun.  However, author Heike B. Görtemaker has pieced together through existing documents and letters a plausible picture of their courtship.  Görtemaker gives us a tale that can be both gripping and questioning, leaving much open for the reader to gather his or her own conclusions as to the validity of Hitler and Eva Braun’s relationship.

9.  Shaken, Not Stirred by Tim Gunn100_2026

 In this Kindle-only short story, Gunn briefly describes his father’s physical deterioration due to alcoholism and Alzheimer’s disease towards the end of his career, and the subsequent effect on his family.  Holding true to steadfast Tim Gunn-style, he is candid, witty, and introspective, thereby recognizing the flaws in his past and kneading them into something fruitful for the future.

IsEveryoneHangingOutWithoutMe

8.  Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling

Mindy Kaling, also known as Kelly Kapur on the American version of the “Office”, has written an intelligent and introspective autobiography that offers us insight into the life of a truly funny woman.  Kapur’s writing is highly accessible: she’s sweet, silly, candid, and she possesses an incredible gift that makes you care about her, even though you’ve never met her.

7.  Armadillos and Old Lace by Kinky Friedman
100_1915

If you don’t know Kinky, get to know Kinky; the best Jewish cowboy country singer turned Jewish cowboy mystery writer around.  Friedman’s body of work, both fiction and non-fiction is impressive so it may be difficult to find a starting place besides at number one.  If you are going to skip around, then Armadillos and Old Lace (next to Elvis, Jesus and Coca-Cola) would be a safe bet.  Though peppered with slight vulgarity and delinquent humor (mercy!), Friedman always manages to be tender.  The main character, aptly named Kinky, loves animals, old ladies, his cigars, drinking, and saving the day.  He’s a good old boy with liberal sensibilities and stands up for those without a voice.  It’s a light mystery and you know that when  you get Kinky, you always get a happy ending.

GirlsWalksintoaBar6.  Girl Walks into a Bar by Rachel Dratch

Saturday Night Alum Rachel Dratch has written an adorable memoir about becoming accidentally pregnant in her 40s to a man that she is casually dating.  If you need an uplifting true story, especially to do with having children past what society deems to be your “prime” years, then definitely give it a go.  Dratch is a rebel who doesn’t apologize for her life choices and relays her experiences with honesty and a gentle touch; she’s to the point, but doesn’t come down too heavy.

5.  Rotters by Daniel KrausRotters

This book was an accident.  As I was perusing the horror table at the Printers’ Row Book Fair in early 2012, I picked up this book whose appeal factors included grave robbing and corpses, and thinking it was adult fiction, bought it.  Little did I know that in all actuality, it was young adult.  Little did I also know is that teen/young adult novels can be as gory and poignant as an adult novel.  The great thing about this novel, and perhaps in many teen novels, is that little is open to interpretation because it’s messages are blunt; very little beating around the bush.  Sometimes, don’t we all just want to be handed a message that we can understand immediately?  I know that sometimes I do.

IHateEveryone4.  I Hate Everyone, Starting with Me by Joan Rivers

Women aren’t supposed to be funny without femininity.  It may sound archaic, but women are only allowed to be accepted into our society on a large-scale unless their mouth is paired with pretty.  Pretty looks, pretty hair, or pretty jokes intermingled with ugly ones.  Rivers tosses her jokes in the face of a society that is based on the consumption of pretty, feminine women.  She offends everyone to the most extreme degree, including herself, but it’s all one big joke.  Does she really hate mentally disabled children?  Of course not.  It’s all part of staying true to the purity of her craft.  She gets plastic surgery because she understands that no one wants to see an old wrinkled woman on television (isn’t that the ultimate paradox?), but then she uses her place in the spotlight to subvert what is expected of her as a female comedian.  In a nutshell, Rivers’ book is an offensive hoot.  Have fun.

3.  Amy, My Daughter by Mitch WinehouseAmycovers

Written posthumously by Amy Winehouse’s father, Mitch Winehouse pays the ultimate homage to his daughter–he writes her life.  Previous to picking it up, my knowledge of Amy’s life and music was limited to what the radio stations doled out, which was mainly negative gossip.  MW paints Amy as realistically as a father can, except he ups the credibility factor with fault.  He finds fault with himself and with Amy, and this is what brings the reader in because really, who wants to read 300 pages of praise?  If so, where can connections be made?  MW ultimately lets us grieve along with him, his family, and for the tragedy that was Amy’s death.

Bedwetter2.  The Bedwetter by Sarah Silverman

It’s jarring to hear a woman be so vulgar, compared only to the likes of Joan Rivers and a sprinkling of other female comedians who don’t give two shits about what mainstream culture says about them, but it’s also extremely refreshing.  Silverman’s no-holds-barred tongue is just the ruffling of the waters, much like Rivers’ book, that is needed to chip away at gender inequity, bit by bit.  Silverman’s book is a memoir of how comedy entered her life and how she has existed in that world.  Bedwetter is sometimes a tangled tale of inequality in the comedy arena that leaves you pissed off, intertwined with inspiration and gumption that makes you glad that there are women like Silverman out there who are disrupting at least one person’s sleep.

1.  It’s Always Something by Gilda Radnerit'salwayssomething

If you are seeking a solid story that leaves you feeling truly human and truly grateful, then read Radner’s autobiography.  In it, she hands us raw Radner on a plate and it leaves you completely changed at the end.  Radner’s memoir is one of cancer and her will.  She takes us on a journey that is the definition of bittersweet: getting cancer, its recession, fathoming her own possible demise, the ebbs and flows of hope, and her relationships and their own dealings with her cancer.  This book was written over twenty years ago and it reads as if it were written yesterday because love, friendship and struggle are (un)fortunately constants in life.

 

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